Sandy Grissom: A true gardener
photo by Hannah Thompson
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Sue Thompson
Exponent Freelance Writer
Sandy Grissom sipped her iced green tea at Tabula Coffee Shop on the campus of the University of North Dakota and as she put her cup down, she leaned over the table and quipped, “You know, in a past life, I was the one asking the questions and conducting the interview.” She laughed, “I’m not so sure I like this side of the table.”
Perhaps many of you recognize Grissom’s name or face. Up until last summer, Grissom was the Editor of the Red River Valley Women’s Magazine (RRVW). “I loved my job with the magazine. I met the most wonderful women, wonderful, ordinary women doing extraordinary things. Our community is filled with truly marvelous people.”
The decision to leave RRVW was not an easy one for Grissom. Yet, like many past decisions, this too, was guided by faith.
“You know, it’s amazing where life takes you, when you get out of the way and let faith guide you,” said Grissom.
Grissom’s journey, perhaps not too unlike many of the women she interviewed for RRVW, remains filled with many blessings and includes some challenging and unexpected hurdles.
However, according to Grissom, even in difficult times when darkness covered much of the world around her, she relied or perhaps depended on faith.
“Believe me, there have been times in my life when I literally held my hand up toward the sky shaking my fist at God. But even then, when I was frustrated, confused, full of doubt and angry, I remained in a relationship with God,” said Grissom.
For the next hour, Grissom shared her journey. As she described living with an alcoholic husband, financial difficulties that resulted from divorcing her husband, challenges of raising children as a single parent, she spoke with a soft gentle voice. Perhaps time itself has offered this strong and grounded woman the ability to speak of life’s challenges minus any hint of bitterness or resentment. Yet, as Grissom continued, it became evident that it was not time at all, but rather faith that freed her spirit.
“You know,” said Grissom, “I am a gardener. As a gardener, it’s important to prune away dead branches to encourage new growth. I believe that there may be pain or things I need to let go of, so that I am encouraged to grow, so that I can bear better fruit, and by better fruit, I mean spirituality. Sometimes life prunes the dead branches away, and sometimes circumstances prune them away.”
After divorcing her husband, Grissom continued working as a school psychologist in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. It was during this period in her life when she reconnected with Doug Grissom.
“Doug and I first met while undergraduate students. At the time we ran into each other, he was a medical student at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Neither one of us was looking for a relationship. I mean, Doug was a med student, and I pretty much knew and accepted that I would spend my life as a single parent,” Grissom said.
Perhaps there is truth to the saying, “love happens when you least expect it” because in spite of this couple’s best efforts of convincing themselves that neither was ready for a long-term relationship and through hours of conversation over many cups of coffee, they fell in love.
“Doug was a gift – a true gift,” said Grissom several times, as she told the story of their reunion.
Grissom’s face lightens up whenever she speaks of her husband or children. Grissom’s oldest son now lives in Moorhead. Her youngest two boys remain at home, and daughter, Libby, lives in Crookston. While Grissom lights up as she speaks of her family, there is a special, maybe even stronger, glow when she speaks of Libby.
Libby was born four weeks premature, yet, still entered this world weighing more than seven pounds and possessing developed lungs. When this precious child was just three weeks old, she began experiencing difficulty eating and breathing. One evening, after Grissom could not rouse her newborn baby and with her then toddler Jacob in tow, they headed to the emergency room.
The emergency room staff examined Libby and determined that she was probably the youngest flu victim on record. As the trio was getting ready to leave the emergency room, Libby’s arm began to jerk.
“A nurse noticed this and immediately got the doctor. Libby was having a seizure. We did not leave as it was obvious that more tests were needed,” said Grissom.
The medical tests revealed a high white blood cell count. A neo-natal ambulance transferred baby Libby to Minneapolis. After more tests, doctors diagnosed Libby with Viral Encephalitis. Within a few days, Libby’s body temperature dropped indicating a lack of activity in her brain stem. Her prognosis was not good.
“At this time, doctors talked to me about end of life issues,” said Grissom. “A priest baptized Libby in her hospital room as she was given six months to a year to live. I was able to take Libby home and we had hospice care at home too. Well, to make a long story short, we had a miracle birthday when she turned one.”
Libby, now 16, resides in a group home. She receives food via a gastric tube in her stomach and she cannot communicate with words. Nevertheless, she smiles when she sees her family, in fact, according to Grissom, Libby smiles mostly all of the time.
“When we all go down to southern Minnesota to see my parents, Libby sits in her seat and looks out the window and smiles. She has the sweetest smile. She has truly been a blessing not only in my life, but in the lives of many others,” Grissom added.
Perhaps all of us could benefit from pruning away dead branches that deny our growth. For it appears that by doing so, the blessings and beauty that have been in our lives all along, become revealed.