AD SPACE
bubba's Korner by Dan Nordine editor
I’m a veteran, and like most veterans I have a lot of fond memories as well as bad about my military service.There was still a draft when I enlisted. Back in those days most of the guys I knew ended up in uniform via the draft route. For me, I was too unsettled for college after getting out of high school so I enlisted hoping to get some education. Sometimes I think I got more than I bargained for.
Almost everyone I knew in the service was around my age. I was 18 when I went in, still a babe, really. So were we all. In fact anyone over the age of 20 was generally slapped with the nickname “Pappy”.
The guys who held the most stripes on their sleeve were really old. Some of them were even ancient and in their 30’s.
When you think about it, maybe we’re doing this military thing all backwards. At 18 we didn’t know a thing about life. Were way too susceptible to all the vices and trappings of a world we did not yet understand. It probably would have been beneficial to have a few years under our belt before sending us around the world.
I’d like to take credit as the author of the following, but I can’t. I received it as an email from a friend the other day. It says a lot about perceptions shaped from “experience”.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us attack some jerk who desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up tracking down some fanatical terrorist.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... ER . one.'
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, or start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million angry old duffs with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!
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bubba's Korner by Dan Nordine editor
I’m a veteran, and like most veterans I have a lot of fond memories as well as bad about my military service.
There was still a draft when I enlisted. Back in those days most of the guys I knew ended up in uniform via the draft route. For me, I was too unsettled for college after getting out of high school so I enlisted hoping to get some education. Sometimes I think I got more than I bargained for.
Almost everyone I knew in the service was around my age. I was 18 when I went in, still a babe, really. So were we all. In fact anyone over the age of 20 was generally slapped with the nickname “Pappy”.
The guys who held the most stripes on their sleeve were really old. Some of them were even ancient and in their 30’s.
When you think about it, maybe we’re doing this military thing all backwards. At 18 we didn’t know a thing about life. Were way too susceptible to all the vices and trappings of a world we did not yet understand. It probably would have been beneficial to have a few years under our belt before sending us around the world.
I’d like to take credit as the author of the following, but I can’t. I received it as an email from a friend the other day. It says a lot about perceptions shaped from “experience”.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us attack some jerk who desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up tracking down some fanatical terrorist.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... ER . one.'
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, or start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million angry old duffs with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!